How To

My bookshelves are sagging
with instructions.

How to focus.
How to wake at 5 a.m.
How to build better habits.
How to simplify.
How to live deeply.
How to be present.

Spines like soldiers.
Highlights tucked inside
like bookmarks to a better self.

My YouTube history
is a quiet confession:

morning routines
minimalism
journaling systems
ten ways to optimize your life
five mistakes you’re making
three habits of successful people

Always a number.
Always a promise.

If I just learn one more thing
I’ll finally arrive.

I watch
and take notes
and save playlists
for later.

Later
when I’m ready.
Later
when life really begins.

Meanwhile

the tea goes cold
the light shifts across the floor
the day keeps happening
without a single strategy.

Sometimes I look up
and realize

I’ve spent an hour
learning how to live

instead of living.

Now sits beside me
barefoot
quiet
unimpressed by my research.

It doesn’t want improvement.

It doesn’t want a system.

It doesn’t want a hack.

It just pats the seat of the chair next to it
like an old friend

and says,

You can stop studying.

You’re already here.